[ by Stian ]
Marion – the one with a soft heart
of gold made it possible for us to have an authentic and very
interesting experience while in Myanmar. I have chosen to write a
separate entry in our travel blog about this particular experience,
'cause as you all know, I have trouble keeping it short. So here is
the whole story:)
First Meeting
On the first evening in Bagan,
Myanmar, while catching the sunset at one of the temples it happen so
that Marion got in touch with some pushy saleskids. It did though
turn out that they kids were truly lovely when she had gotten to know
them a bit after having had a chat with each of them. Well they were
at lest lovely after she had purchased way many postcards from them.
The kids: Win Win Htay, the oldest
girl who was 20 years old, the two brothers Zin Zin, 16, and Maung
Maung (phonetic: Mou Mou), 15, and least but not least Eie Eie
(phonetic: I I ) the younger sister, who was probably one of the
happiest 10 year olds we have ever seen, were all siblings. The last
kid, Nyi Nyi (ph: Ni Ni), also 10 of age, was a friend of the others
and he was a huge charmer, who at least got the girls totally
softened. The kids were very grateful for the generosity and the
compassion of Marion so they invited us to come to their home for
coffee the next morning, and we were told by the oldest that her
mother would love it if we did. Having the opportunity to experience
a genuine Myanmar home and lifestyle was so tempting that we
immediately accepted the invitation. We therefore agreed to meet at
11 am the next day.
Coffee At A Traditional Myanmar Home
Just a little after 11am the next
day we met up with the kids again and they were very happy to see us
obviously. They took us to their home which was a very small, but
cozy hut which was supported by wooden poles. Here we got to meet
mother of the family, the auntie, two cousins of theirs, the grand
mother and also another younger brother, and another woman who's
relation with the family we did not get to be honest. The mother had
prepared coffee and tea for us, and she served us some kind of snacks
and peanuts.
We also all got to be treated with
the facial «cream» which is so common here in Myanmar. I even got
one of these cream-pieces, which looked more like soap, as a present
to bring home. Sissel and
Marion got each their own longyi as a present as well, but they were
not completely done, so we were invited back for dinner later the
same night and told that they would be ready by then. We were
told by the oldest daughter that we HAD to return for dinner,
otherwise her mother would become very unhappy. It was strange to
notice that the kids were actually pretty good in English, way better
than expected. There were still some things they did not understand
so there were a bit of confusions at times. The older generation
though seemed not to speak any English at all. Even the youngest kid,
the 4 year old cousin, was about to learn some English words, so even
she was better than some of the adults. The 4-year old was even
probably one of the cutest babies we had ever seen, and especially
Sissel fell totally in love with her.
Life Is About...
Sissel has the same Life Is About
book-as I have. Actually, I do have to admit that I did steal the
idea from her in the first place – haha. She wanted everyone to
write in her book. Since Win Win Htay was the best in speaking
English we were not aware that she could not write – so when Sissel
gave her the book she was obviously very embarrassed when she had to
tell that she didn't know how to write. To be honest, we were more
embarrassed for having expected it to be a given ability in a country
where education is almost a non-priority for many, because of how the
country is run by the military junta. Sissel decided therefore that
all the kids should be allowed to make a drawing in her book, which
was the sweetest gesture ever – and all the kids became very happy
for this. We eventually had to leave, 'cause our driver was waiting
for us, but we had each given a pinky-promise that we would return in
the evening again, so we would definitely be seeing more of the kids.
Slacking By The Pool
The rest of the afternoon this
second day, we just hang out by the pool at our hotel and we talked a
lot about the upcoming evening and what we could expect. We were
worried the mother would make something to elaborate just because of
us being white foreigners. We really had no clue how people and
culture really work here in Myanmar since none of us don't know
anyone who's ever been here before.
Coffee at Nyi Nyi's House
When evening fell upon us we walked
to the house of the kids again. On the way we were met by the kids
and they were as always very cheerful and happy. Since we had
some time to spare Nyi Nyi really wanted is to come see his home as
well. His mother immediately made up coffee and snacks for us and we
ended up sitting here for almost half an hour. Even here the grown
ups did not communicate with us, so we only still had the kids to
relate to. Suddenly Zin Zin starts giving Kenneth a massage, and then
Eie Eie did the same with Marion and suddenly we all got a
shoulder massage. The most impressive thing was that the kids were
really good at it as well. Mou Mou was the one giving me a massage
and I did have to ask him if someone had taught him how to do this,
but they all said that they had never done it before, which is very
hard to believe. Even though it felt good, we felt it was just to
awkward having kids performing shoulder massage on us, with the
parents just watching from a distance, so we made them just sit down
next to us and thanked them for the gesture.
Genuine Myanmar Dinner Experience
We then headed for the other home of
the other kids for dinner. Here we were met by the whole family once
again and this time the father of the house had arrived as well. He
as well seemed like a very nice guy, but he were not of the talkative
kind. They had made up the table for 5 people only so we had to
find our seats. Win Win Htey sat in between me and Marion and she was
the one serving us the food. The menu consisted of spicy fish balls,
chicken, tomato salad, vegetables and rice. It turned out that the
rest of the family would not be dining until 9 pm – so that we
would be the only ones eating at this point. This situation was very
strange and actually not so comfortable: You can just imagine having
12 people sitting around you watching you eat, while you know that
none of them have had their dinner yet. I really liked the food
though, and did get full. If we'd been at a buffet-restaurant I would
probably have eaten more, but since I was full and not sure if the
family had more food stored away another place or if the leftovers
after us would be the only food for the family to eat later, then I
decided not to go for another portion.
After dinner we got coffee and tea
served once again, alongside sweet potato snacks and peanuts. We also
got more gifts – this time some sweet candy – a whole bag of it
each. Sissel and Marion got their longyis back. It turned out that
the mother had been to the seamstress to get them tailed up nicely
for the girls. At this point we also noticed that it seemed like each
of the kids had decided to pay extra attention to each of us
respectively. Mou Mou was the one giving me the most attention all
the time, while Zin Zin focused on Kenneth, or at least it seemed
like so. Both the boys made a comment about our wooden bracelets which
we purchased at Gili T asking us if they were our lucky bracelets. We
decided then to give them our bracelets telling them that we hoped it
would bring them luck. Mou Mou made a comment about how I had tied my
longyi and when I demonstrated how well the way I had tied it worked
by doing some squatting, I ended up tearing it apart a
bit, of course thats typical my luck. Mou Mou immediately told me that
he would bring me a new longyi the following day, but I told him that
was OK and that he did not need to do so.
We thanked the family for the dinner
and was about to head back to our hotel. This is not without a
«problem» though. Before we arrived for dinner we had decided
to give a symbolic amount of 10 000 kyats each, which is about 10 US
dollars, so all together 50 US dollars. Which really is not that much
(for us). So we gave the money to the mother of the family. We do
believe this gesture was well received, so when we were about to
leave all the kids, and this time even the mother, wanted to make
sure that we got to our hotel safely so they chose to follow us the
whole way back. Mou Mou was of course talking to me during the whole
walk back. He made a comment about my shoes saying that he liked
«foreigner shoes» - and he then asked me how many pairs I had. He was
focusing a lot on the shoes and it turned out that the only «shoes»
they had were the slippers they were wearing at the moment, which
were not of a very good quality at all. He did carefully suggest to me
that if he brought me a new longyi as a gift, maybe I could bring him a gift
as well, of course referring to the shoes. I told him we would have to
wait and see about this. It also turned out that none of the kids
seemed to go to school, or at least it was very expensive to go to
school... we really did not figure it out completely, cause when we
asked about school it was a bit difficult to understand what they
meant.
Since we had taken a lot of photos
of the family we asked for their postal address and their
email-address, which the mother actually seemed to have one of, at some kind
of store. We wanted to have this information in case we at a
later stage want to send them the photos, so the kids decided that
they would be coming to our hotel at 11am the following day with the
information that we needed.
New Shoes for the Boys
The very next day I got up early in
the morning cause I wanted to try to get to the «foreigner shoes
store» to check out the prices, so that I knew what kind of price
range I had to relate to if I were to consider buying Mou Mou new
shoes. When we left the hotel it turned out that Win Win Htay and
Eie Eie had been waiting for us. They asked us where we were leaving
for so we told them we just wanted to look around. Ax expected they
joined us. I did drop by the shoe-store and figured that the shoes
were very cheap so I would have no problem treating Mou Mou with a
pair later on. The girls then took
us to the morning market in New Bagan, which was a very small and
nice market. Of course they wanted us to come to their home
again, but we told them that we had to go back to the hotel.
On the way back to the hotel we met
up with the 3 boys again as well. Since we were just right next
to the shoe store I took Mou Mou up there and told him to pick the
shoes he wanted and that the would be a gift from me to him. He ended
up buying another pair of slippers, though of better quality than the
ones he already had and which were of a brand he liked. They cost me
only 7 US dollars, so it was definitely worth it. Almost right at the
same time Nyi Nyi's slippers broke and he had to walk barefoot – so
Marion felt so bad for him so she decided she had to buy him new ones
as well. When she told him she would do so he became the happiest boy
ever and started jumping and dancing down the street. Well, since two
of the kids had gotten new shoes I asked Zin Zin if he wanted as well
– because it would seem unfair to differ between the kids – and
he as well found himself a pair which I treated him. The girls though
didn't want anything so they didn't get anything (at this point).
So the boys had gotten new shoes and
were happy. The kids invited us for dinner to their house this
evening as well, but at this point we felt very torn, because we
really did not know how to cope with all the kindness and
hospitality. Also, it was very strange not being able to
communicate with anyone the night before, except for with the kids,
and we would have actually preferred that everyone ate at the same
time. We told them therefore that we had made other arrangements for
the evening. Though we would drop by in the late afternoon before
dinner so that we could come for a coffee and just to say hi.
Later the same afternoon...
We dropped by as promised to say hi, though of course we were forced
to sit down and have both coffee and tea and all the snacks that
follows. The kids sat this time with us around the table, but still
not up close to the table. Mou Mou was sitting right behind me, and
Zin Zin on the side of me. At one point Eie Eie jumped in between us
and shoved herself right into the edge of the table, but Mou Mou was
quick to pull her back. It was clearly that she was not allowed to
sit as close to the table as we, the guests, did. The mother was also
sitting right behind us and they kept sending the bowl of snacks around
all the time, and we felt forced to eat at times.
This time we even had entertainment.
The family did have a very small TV and a very basic DVD-player,
so Zin Zin put on DVDs with music videos. Well, the variety of his
collection was not very extensive, or at least it didn't seem so –
because the first "15" songs we got to see were different versions of
the very famous «Gangam Style». This song is immensely popular over
here and this other day we even walked past this really cute little boy at a place by the street who was doing the dance
perfectly. Zin Zin then put on music videos by Justin
Bieber, and it was obvious that the boys admired him a lot. The
auntie in the house had to make a comment about my hairstyle and that it was the same haircut as Justin Bieber. They all thought it was funny
and then they all started complimenting all of us how beautiful we
were. Being complimented for your looks all the time is a bit strange, but it's obvious that they admire the pale skin of ours so we were getting used to it. So it was all in all a very nice evening in many ways.
An Unexpected Agenda, but still not so anyways...
It would though turn out that there
was an agenda behind all the kindness by the local Burmese family because close to when we were about to leave
another woman approached Sissel and Marion and explained that 3 of
the kids in the family did not go to school, or at least not at a
proper school. The public school system is not very good and most
kids don't even learn how to read or to write we were told. They
would prefer three of the children to have a private teacher, or to
attend a private school – so that they would be able to actually
learn something. The kids they talked about were the two eldest, Win
Win Htay and Zin Zin, as well as the youngest, Ni Ni from the other
family. We were told that the amount of money needed for a private
teacher for a school year for each of the children were 70 000 kyats.
We were a bit surprised at this point, since we had not expected a
request like this. We already felt that we had given a lot to the
family. 3 of the kids had gotten new shoes, and the previous day we
had already given as much as 60 000 kyats as a friendly gesture for
their hospitality. It seemed though that there was a bit of
desperation in the air from the side of the family, since this was
their last chance to request this gesture from us.
We were not able to give a reply at
this time so we thanked them for the evening and then tried to make
our way to find a car. Of course the whole family joined on our
way once us again. Since the girls had each gotten a present from Nyi
Nyi's mother earlier in the day they wanted to drop by his house as well to give their
thanks, but as the story always goes: We were forced to sit down to
have another coffee and more snacks. They made up seats for us, and
only us, not themselves. And even though it was very late it was still warm outside
so the kids and the mother of the four was sitting waving hand fans
to cool us down. It was very strange to be honest and we felt like
they were acting very submissively. The mother of the four was even
giving Sissel a thigh-massage, which really seemed awkward in every way. I took the
hand fan from one of them and started waving at them instead, as a
friendly gesture of course. I told the mother we had to share and be
equal, but it was clearly that this was a bit awkward as well.
We did eventually get out of there
and got a friend of the family to give us a ride to the restaurant.
We chose to go to The Queen again, cause we knew it was located
outside of the village so that we knew that the kids would not follow
us. We really did love the kids to death, but at this point we needed
to be by ourselves and we had to make a decision of what to do about
their request. We had agreed to come back the next day to say
farewell since it would be our last day in Bagan so we knew that we
would be seeing them again.
The Ethical Dilemma
There was clearly a sign of
disappointment among some of the members in the group, since we had not
expected this request since we already felt we had given a lot to
the family. I agree that it felt very uncomfortable there and
then, being approached by a request of economic
means, especially when it's for something as basic as education. It
was said by some that they felt they had been bought and that they
felt less like giving something now, after having gotten this
request. I though did not agree with all the feelings that someone
shared, cause it all has to be seen in perspective:
1: You should never expect to gain
something without making an effort for it. In Norway I feel a lot
of people expect to get so much both from both the state and from people
around them, without having to do literally nothing for it. This
family had taken us into their home, given us gifts and made us
wonderful food. Last but not least, they have given us wonderful
memories for a lifetime.
2: Taken the money into account they
requested 70 000 Myanmar Kyats for each of the three children. 210
000 Ks in total, among the 5 of us that would be only 42 000 Ks, less
than 280 Norwegian kroners each. An amount which is not really that
much. Sissel, Marion and Kjetil were even willing to pay 180 US
dollars each to do a balloon ride while here, which would have lasted
for only an hour and a half, just to be able to get a nice view of
the temples. So three years of education equaled the cost just of as much as
3/4 of a balloon ride. When put like that, it is, at least to me,
embarrassing not to give into their request since «we», the white
rich people, are willing to pay that much for something as silly as a
balloon-ride.
3: Flashing our wealth: When we
first met the kids, the very first evening, Marion felt sorry for
them and she paid 25 000 Kyats for 5 sets of postcard, which initially
only cost 1000 Ks each, and then Sissel came along and paid 5000 for
1 set as well – so it was very obvious that we had money. It was
probably the worst kind of money-flashing the kids had ever experienced,
so they saw their chance and therefore invited us to their home.
4: Big family, small means: The
whole family consisted of 9 members, 5 of which where children. Then
it was the father, the mother, the grandmother, and an auntie, and
two cousins and... ah well I never got to understand how many they
were and who was related to whom. At least 9 people shared the
sleeping surface of less than 15 square meters. We were told by our taxi-guy
from the hotel that a regular worker could make as little as 3000 Ks
a day. Of the members in this family only the father seemed to have a
real job, and we have no idea how much he made. At this time the kids
were having their summer holidays and every day during their holiday
they had to do their "business" as they referred to it as, which is to sell sets of postcards or
self-made drawings to the tourists. EVERY kid in town did this so the
competition to get their sets sold is very hard at times. Sometimes
they were not able to sell at all. What I suspect is that in the case
of education it all depended on how much they all were able to save
up during the summer months. If they were not able to save enough,
then there would be no school to attend when the holiday comes to an
end. And if the father makes very little money then it would take
very very long time to save up money for all the kids to go to school
and at the same time make the household go around.
5: The lack of money was also
obvious. The clothes and the slippers the kids were wearing all
came from the morning market, which is the cheapest place to buy
things. All the kids had the same pair of sandals that come 5 in a
packet at the market. I bet one pair of the sandals the boys got from
us probably cost twice the amount of 5 pair of the cheap ones, and
the ones they got from us had way better quality as well. So even
though they had food on the table and a roof over their head, they
did not have much more. These kids probably never get presents as
kids in Norway do at a regular basis, several times a year.
6: Everything to win and nothing to
loose: So the family had at this point everything to win, and
absolutely nothing to loose. They had treated us well, and were now
relying on our consciousness. They had already gained a lot from us
and they knew that we do have the means for more. They know that they will
probably never see any of us again anyways, so they were hoping that
what they have done would have been enough.
So taken everything into
consideration I had no problem into giving into their request. We ARE
filthy rich white people who DO have the economic means. And we DID
flash our money. Someone mentioned that they felt less like giving
again, after getting a request like this, in other words implying that
it was rude of them to request this. This argument made me a bit
upset because I doubt anyone were considering giving any more at all, since
we had already given a lot. In other words it could be perceived as
if one was considering to give more, but now they didn't feel like it
anymore. This was clearly a «lie», cause I don't believe anyone was
prepared to give any more. Even though we treated them well by giving
the family money and the kids new shoes; In my mind, I think they
treated us even better. They took us into their homes and treated us
with a genuine Myanmar experience many tourists never will have the
chance to experience. I would have gladly paid way more than 280 NOK
to be able to have experienced something like this anyway. I genuinely
do believe that the kids loved hanging out with us as well, no matter
how much money we had. At least it looked like Mou Mou, Nyi Nyi and
Eie Eie was really proud of being able to walk with us in the
streets. I bet it brought them status to be friends with white
people. The whole experience really got at least me to realize how
privileged we are back home in Norway and to appreciate the value of
the small things in my life.
We realized during our stay in New
Bagan that everyone soon knew of us – cause we were referred to
as the white people from Sky Palace by another taxi-guy, even though
we had not told him where we stayed at, and especially kids waved and
smiled at us and greeted us where ever we found our way.
I had fallen in love with the family
totally. They were so beautiful in every way. I have never smiled as
much in my life ever before as I had been doing while hanging with
the kids. Even Kjetil made a comment stating that his cheeks were
kind of hurting because of all the smiling he had been doing the last
couple of days, haha. The only concern we had about giving in to the
request of the family was IF the money actually WOULD go to what they
said it would go to, that is the kids education, or if they would be
spent on something completely different.
Our Decision
The last day in Bagan we spent doing
a tour to Mount Popa. We were though back at our hotel not long after
noon and now it was time to decide if we would be going to give the
two families a donation as requested. I had already decided that I
was willing to join, so it would be up to the others to decide.
Back in town we had dinner at the
restaurant called The Green Elephant, which was located just by the
street. Here we had to make our decision. It
didn't take long before the kids turned up again – and they noticed
immediately that we were sitting in the restaurant of course, so they
decided to wait for us outside. We did have a discussion for a few
minutes and then we all decided that we should go for it and to give
in to the request. At
least we would have our conscious clean if we did decide to go for
it, and if it would turn out that the family would not spend it on
what they said they would, then they are the firm believers of
something called karma, and as we all know: Karma can be a bitch
sometimes. So we prefer to be called soft, rather than naive, just to
let you all know. We only had a short chat with the kids outside the
restaurant afterwards and told them that we would be seeing them
later in the evening at their house again.
Saying Goodbye
Before we left
for their house we got the receptionist at our hotel to write in
traditional Myanmar writing on the envelope with the money, explaining
that the money inside was our donation for the education for the
following kids Nyi Nyi, Zin Zin and Win Win Htay. Hopefully this
way there would be no confusion. We then left for the family's house
to give them our donation and to say farewell. Marion dropped by Nyi
Nyi's house to pick up his mother so that she would be attending as
well, which we felt was important since he was one of the kids getting
money. It turned out that both the father of the four kids and the
mother of Nyi Nyi knew how to read, so they both got to read the
envelope. Hopefully they would then be able to split the money
between the kids without no problem.
When at the
house the kids were again thrilled to see us of course and it looked
like that both the parents of Win Win Htay, Zin Zin, Mou Mou and Eie
Eie, and the mother of Nyi Nyi were touched and grateful by our
decision. It was sad to say farewell, but also a bit reliefing,
cause we felt that we have had to deal a little to much with our
consciousness these last few days. From now on we will try not to
flash our money as we have done so far, to avoid more incidents like
this – haha;) Though we are thrilled to have gotten to know this
family. It feels like they have become OUR Burmese family. Hopefully I will be able to go back and see them again one day. If
the conditions stay as they are at the present time in Bagan, then
they will probably be living in the same house for many more years to
come, so they should be easy to find again:)
Bless Burma for all it's greatness:) We had the best time ever and obtained so many impressions that will last for a lifetime. The kindness and the hospitality will never be forgotten. Myanmar is a very special country - and we pray and hope that it will stay like this even when the charter flights from Scandinavia starts running from this coming autumn... <3
First visit
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| Nyi Nyi :) |
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| First time seeing their home. |
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| Win Win Thay :) |
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| Eie Eie :) |
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| Nyi Nyi, Mou Mou and the youngest Brother. |
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| Getting traditional make up on;) |
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| Not the best shoes.... |
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| Mama in the veggie garden:) |
Coffee at Nyi Nyi's house
Dinner
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| Peek-a-boo Grandma |
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| Father of the house |
At the morningmarket following day
At family's house for coffee again
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| Zin Zin :) |
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| Doing the Gangam style of course;) |
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| The worlds cutest:-) |
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| Mou Mou and me:) |
